Ten All-Time Funny Hockey Quotes

Here are ten great funny and/or clever quotes in the history of hockey, there are many more, but these are among the best in no particular order.

”Goal-tending is a normal job, sure. How would you like it in your job if every time you made a small mistake, a red light went on over your desk and 15,000 people stood up and yelled at you.” - Jacques Plante

”I know my players don't like my practices, but that's OK because I don't like their games.” - Harry Neale.

”Last season we couldn't win at home and we were losing on the road. My failure was that I couldn't think of any place else to play.” - Harry Neale

”The three important elements of hockey are: fore-check, back-check and paycheck.” - Gil Perreault

Every day you guys look worse and worse. And today you played like tomorrow.
John Mariucci, to his U.S. Hockey team.

”Goaltenders are 3 sandwiches shy of a picnic. From the moment primitive man lurched erect, he survived on the principle that when something hard and potentially lethal comes toward you at great velocity, get the hell out of it's path.” - Jim Taylor

”They say you're not a coach in the league till you've been fired. I must be getting pretty good.” - Terry Simpson

Dick Cavett asked Gordie Howe why hockey players always wear a cup but not helmet. he replied:
"You can always get someone to do your thinking for you"

"All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity."
Gordie Howe

"When hell freezes over, I’ll play hockey there too."
Author Unknown

There are many more, feel free to comment with you favorites.